Thanks, Stacy!

Okay, I say this in every single post, but... It has been forever since I posted! I am terrible. I spend too much time lurking on other people's blogs to keep up with my own. But now, my great friend Stacy, put a link to this site on her amazing blog, so I better get with the program!

So much is going on in our lives and for a while I hesitated to post a lot of our "business" but now I feel like we are in a place that it's okay!

I have been working so hard on starting a Christian preschool at our church and it looks like it is going to happen and it is going to be opening in the Fall of 2008! So, there are close to a million things to be done, details to work out, etc. and I couldn't be more excited! I have always dreamed of running a preschool and I have felt God's guidance in the whole project so far. With a tiny step of faith, everything is falling into place! I am amazed and humbled at the amount of support and I am so thrilled to be taking on a new career! It will also be a Parent's Day Out program, so Reagan will be with me! Yeah! It's the perfect job! More later...

We have been a little down about the wait for Reese. For one, the new statistics about the number of children in orphanages is drastically different than it was 2 years ago. I guess the hundreds of thousands of kids just disappeared into thin air. As much love as I have for China and their culture, I have no respect for a government that can't be upfront about the problems that have come about because of their own rules. It's ridiculous to be so secretive and downright mean to make the wait go from 6 months to over 3 years (the new projected wait). I get mad and frustrated and then I stop and think about Reese and that she will be our perfect daughter someday and I will know she was worth the wait.

But in the meantime, we are researching other options. Since we never had any type of fertility testing or answers for our miscarriages, we decided to see what we could find out. The first step was taken last summer when I just talked to my regular dr. about it. I confessed all the problems we have had and how my ob/gyn blew us off and never cared. She was sooooo nice and easy to talk to once I started and she said what we had experienced was not normal and referred us to a wonderful dr. that did not hesitate at all to help us. I had several tests run and Tim had a few and everything was normal, which oddly enough was kind of disappointing! The next step is a surgical procedure, which I will be having next week. Hopefully this will tell us if there is anything "in there" that is causing us to miscarry after only a few weeks. This is extremely emotional for me. I have very mixed up emotions about talking about miscarriage because I am so blessed by the miracle of adoption and I know I had to go through that for Reagan and I would do it again in a heartbeat for her. But, now I feel like I need to stop ignoring what my body is doing and face it, find out what the problem is, and then go from there. Do I want to get pregnant? I can't even answer because I cannot think about getting my hopes up, it's happened too many times in the last 5 years. But I think we would regret not doing these tests on down the road because not knowing in 10 years and not being able to do anything would be really sad. It's in God's hands, and I just pray that we are at peace with whatever may happen. It's ironic how so many people get pregnant, have babies and move on with no problems, no thought, no struggles and then there are those of us who go through so much thought and heartache and confusion to build our families. But I wouldn't trade if for the world. The things I have learned throughout this roller coaster ride are priceless to me. They have molded and shaped us as individuals, a couple, and a family. There is one thing I know I have in my future and that's another unforgettable journey to China for another sweet, precious daughter!

Wow, that was a lot to get out! Moving on...

The girls are doing great! We had a nice Christmas and 2008 is off to a pretty good start! We went to the hockey game in St. Louis and had a blast. It was a super fun weekend and we have all turned into quite the fans of hockey! It is so exciting to watch live, in my opinion, the best sport ever to go to! Other than that, life is full of the usual stuff with the added busy-ness of the preschool stuff!