Frustrations on the Homefront

Okay, so the situation keeps getting worse and my husband is applying to other school districts. This is so stressful and frustrating, and in my opinion so completely unnecessary. He deserves the science department head job and he is more than qualified and he has a resume full of all the wonderful things he has done for this school and community. Apparently it doesn't count for anything. I suppose this is why we stay out of politics and the corporate world because we have more integrity and honesty and goodness in us than those kinds of people. How do people sleep at night when they spend their days screwing people around, excuse my language?!?!?

I am left wondering how a move to another district will affect our family. I trust Tim to make the right decision and trust that God has a plan. We must love the ones we could easily hate because of their actions and words ( our sermon just happened to be on this topic yesterday!). We have to be the shining light that doesn't let the worldly problems weigh us down. Stay focused on Him and remember your rewards in heaven far outweigh anything we can imagine here on earth.

Moving on... we shopped on Saturday for new clothes for both the girls- it was fun, fun, fun!!! They both did great trying stuff on and we got lots of good deals at Target, Marshalls, and The Children's Place. I am looking forward to all the fun things we have going on in the next few months, and now they have cute clothes to wear! And a few matching ones, of course!!!!

I love our new treadmill! I have been running and although I am super out of shape, I am proud that I have started back up again and am taking one day at a time to improve my health and my looks. I bought a book the has stories, tips, and information about The Biggest Loser. I read quite a bit of it this weekend and really enjoyed it. It's so much easier to swallow advice from someone who has been as fat as me and who struggled for years with it, than from some skinny-minny who couldn't gain weight if they tried!!! The most important thing to me is to be a good example to my girls so they can feel good about themselves and never feel held back by their weight.

We had our Moms in Touch Thanksgiving ceremony yesterday at church. All the groups got together to pray and talk about all the ways God has answered prayers this year. What an awesome feeling it is to be surrounded by such beautiful people who know the power of prayer and importance of praying for their children and schools. I found out that my friend, Janice, started praying for her younger son, Ryan when he was in 4th grade and in my class! How cool is that- she was praying for me and I didn't even know it!!! It must be why that was my favorite year of teaching! Ryan is getting married this summer and is such a great young man! I love the whole Shoemaker family so much! I am so proud to be a part of the SHCC family! Janice is now praying for her granddaughter, Addie, who will be in the very first 2 year old class at Bright Beginnings at SHCC!

Please be in prayer that the hearts of our administrators can be softened and that they can see how much Tim could bring to the position of department head. Thanks!

Life Lessons

I am taking a school situation that Tim is dealing with right now to gain some perspective about the kind of director I want to be for Bright Beginnings at SHCC. Tim has applied for the Science Department Head position and is by far the most qualified person for the job out of the teachers who remain in the district (and not just because he is my hubby!). There is a large turnover in staff this year, for various reasons, and it seems like it would be so important for the whole department to come together and choose the next leader. This is not the case. The really upsetting thing is that people have lied and manipulated things to deceive him and what they are trying to do is lure someone from another district by promising him all this extra money for all this extra things. It's so sad to me, as well as infuriating, the politics that is involved in schools. I hate politics on all levels, and this is why. I will never be the prettiest, skinniest, richest, or most popular, but I do know at the end of the day, I serve an awesome God who is the only One I will have to answer to. When people compromise their integrity to please the world, they are not putting Christ at the center of their lives. I really wish I could use names and more details, but I don't want this to come back and bite me in the "B.C. alert" later. For now I will vent and learn a huge lesson... I will do everything for Christ, who strengthens me.

I am so proud of Tim for being the best daddy and husband anyone could ask for. He takes care of us as the head of our household and he never acts selfishly. He puts us at the top of his priority list and works so hard so I can pursue my dreams with the preschool. He is so supportive of me and the girls. We will make it through this obstacle together because we lean on eachother in good times and bad. I LOVE HIM!

Okay, enough venting... we had beautiful weather yesterday and we (mainly me) got the garage cleaned out. We have so much junk, it's ridiculous! I did my best to organize all the stuff and left it at that! We also purchased a treadmill on Saturday, as soon as we got our tax return! I am very excited. Ryleigh and I have both worked out on it and I hope we can keep it up. Anyone who knows me knows how much I have struggled with being the "f" word (the 3 letter one, not the REALLY bad "f"word). I have been in denial for quite some time that eventually I would get back in shape, but I think I have put it off long enough. It's embarrassing to talk about it because I know most people do not understand. We watched most of this season of The Biggest Loser and I learned quite a bit and felt so inspired by the contestants. I am going to take it one day at a time and see how it goes. I don't want to set unrealistic goals for myself or get discouraged if I screw up, which I will. So, I will do the best I can to walk/run each day.

Funny thing Reagan said... She likes to cheer for me when I play cards with Ryleigh. We play a game called Spit and it is super fast paced. So she chants, "Go, mommy, go, mommy...." The other night Tim and I were looking at some emails on the computer and we had one from Go Daddy about the preschool website. Tim said something about Go Daddy and Reagan chimed in, No! It's go mommy!" It was so funny! I hope she always thinks so highly of me (yeah, right)!

I had a Girls Night Out Friday night! I can't remember ever needing one more than I did last week! We ate dinner at Applebees and then talked and laughed and talked and laughed and talked and laughed some more! I love my girlfriends! We stayed out until after 12:30! That is super late for a bunch of mommies! What a blessing to have them in my life! No matter how old I get, I know the importance of good friends! I am so glad God created us to be in relationship with others and gave us each a sense of humor. Tim and the girls rented Alvin and the Chipmunks and had a great time together. They all told me about the raisin part and Reagan was laughing so hard about it! We watched part of it again last night, but I fell asleep- Friday night caught up with me! I love picturing the three of them snuggling and eating popcorn and watching a movie. It's good for all of us to have GNO once in awhile. Of course, Ryleigh said "Good, I can go, too, because I'm a girl" I changed it to Mom's night out to stop her!

I also had a meeting at church this weekend about a bunch of preschool stuff. It went great! I feel so good about the things that are going on and the tremendous amount of support I have from the elders is amazing! I was put in charge of the inspection report action items and even got labeled the Project Manager! I almost laughed out loud thinking about The Apprentice- look out Oma Rosa!!!! God continues to bless me and this ministry! I hope I can continue to do things to the glory of God and make my church family proud. We got a lot of the financial side of things figured out, which is a huge relief for me, since I stink at finances!!!

Hope your day is sunny and bright, like it is here!

A Little Bit Cheerier

Wow, I felt so gripey in the last few posts! I am feeling a little bit cheerier now! I look around at all the blessings I have been given lately and I am so amazed! I absolutely love going to my office and working on preschool business. The kids are so well-behaved and I am getting quite a bit accomplished! Despite a few oppositions within our church, people are so supportive and so incredibly giving! Things are falling into place beautifully! Our playground equipment was delivered this morning! AWESOME! There was a crew of guys there to unload it all from a semi!!!!! I didn't realize it would take that large of a vehicle! My heart was singing praises for this giant gift! The kids will love it, not just for the preschool but for MOPS and our church kids, too! I am praying that a lot of people will show up for the work days to assemble it! I know it will be quite a job. The kids didn't quite understan why they didn't just put it all up today. We will have a ribbon cutting on the 31st of May- if you are in our area you should come by for a super fun time!

The girls are just as goofy as ever! I have been filling up our summer calendar and I am so excited about all the fun stuff Ryleigh gets to do- church camp, Drama camp, basketball camp, swimming lessons! Reagan will do swimming lessons, too, and then the 2 of us will have some alone time while Ryleigh is busy with her stuff and Tim teaches summer school. I will miss Lindsey and Justin, but it will be so nice to have that time with Reagan, like I did with Ryleigh. I want to treasure every minute with her (especially since she will soon be a MIDDLE child- yikes!). I say soon, but that's a bit of an exaggeration, it will still be years!

We are planning to visit my grandparents twice this summer. In June I will go with my mom, sister, sister-in-law, and all the kids! I hope they are ready for this rowdy bunch! Then in July, Tim and I will take the girls for a little bit quieter vacation! I am glad we will have the chance to do this! My grandma and grandad are such special people, we will be celebrating grandma's 89th birthday and grandad's 90th! I hope Tim and I can be just like them! We will also get to see my aunt, uncle, and hopefully my cousins! It's a long trip, but totally worth it! I am so thankful that Tim enjoys going as much as I do- I am blessed by a wonderful husband!

Not much else going on around here!

Give it to God

The lessons I am learning throughout the whole opening a new preschool process are priceless! I am learning to turn it all over to God. In the last couple of days I have had some bumps in the road, but realize quickly that praying about it and then letting go is the best way to handle things out of my control! When I was teaching 4th grade, I was trained in a program called "Second Step" and it was all about teaching kids to handle their emotions. One of the biggest things I tried to get across to them was that it's okay to be angry, hurt, mad, etc. But how you deal with it is important. There are ways to make good choices when you are having those emotions. So, I am choosing today, right now, to give my hurt feelings over to God and be over it! I am finding that it is hard for me to not take it personally when people I assume will enroll their children in Bright Beginnings at SHCC do not. Most of the time I see there is a reason that is not a reflection on how they feel about me or my beliefs or the program we are starting. But there are a few cases where I do not understand and I feel like it is a slap in my face. Enough said...

We are having a steady stream of enrollment and that is great news! I love talking to new families and hearing their enthusiasm for our program! I am going to be on a panel Thursday night at a Parents As Teachers meeting about all the local preschool programs. I am excited to spread the word and hopefully increase our enrollment!

I voted today. The only thing on our ballet was school board. I honestly don't know that much about all the individuals that were running, but I do know that I don't believe wanting to be on the school board to fire the football coach is not my idea of a good reason. I hope and pray that there is enough of a Christian influence on the new board that things can get better in the schools. I am so worried about what things will be like when my kids are in high school. It's time to put God back in school and counsel students with Christian morals and values.

Wow, am I getting controversial or what??? It's why I didn't fare very well in the whole "sucking up" game when I was teaching. I believe what I believe and I don't want to change that to fit someone elses way of thinking. And I refuse to try to weasel my way into the "good ole boy" network in this town! That's me, take it or leave it.

Okay, here's the scoop on Reagan. The child is obsessed with "boobies". She wants to talk about mine, hers, and everyone elses constantly. We ate at the Chinese place (Great Wall) Sunday after church and Ming gave her a Miss Piggie doll. Her comment after she said thanks was "she has big ole boobies". How embarrassing (but true!)! I have tried to tell her we don't say that word because it doesn't sound nice, but she thinks it is so funny! And of course everyone laughs at her!

Ryleigh got her gradecard for the 3rd quarter. She is doing so well, I am so proud of her! She is one smart kid! She did get a check mark (needs improvement) for her handwriting. She doesn't want to take the time to do neat work and I am always hounding her about it! Maybe now she will take it more seriously! Her grades and behavior couldn't be better, though! I can't believe only one more quarter and she will be in 2nd grade.

That's all for now!

With God All Things are Possible

When I think about my life, I can clearly look back and see how God has had His plan for me laid out long before I realized it! I encourage you to focus for just a moment on the blessings in your life. Think about how things just seem to work out, ALWAYS! We may have to go through pain and suffering, but in the end is a blessing that is directly from God. Sometimes it is really difficult for me to be happy for people who are pregnant. That is the brutal truth. I am jealous, I want it to be me. I don't understand working moms sometimes. That is the honest truth. I try to bargain with God and say if you will just give me a baby while I wait for Reese, I will be more patient more kind, blah, blah, blah. I remind God all the time that Tim and I sacrifice for our family so that I can be a full time mommy, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't seem fair sometimes. It makes me mad that people get pregnant everyday without even trying, without even wanting to be, without even caring. Some days I feel like I can't get over it. Like I will always have a whole in my heart for another baby. Is it because the wait is so long for Reese? I could not be more ready, more excited, or more anxious to go to China and get my precious Reese. The wait wears on you, even when you are not thinking about it. Nobody wants to talk about it because it is so far off, it's like a taboo subject 99% of the time.

But through all this confusion in my head, I do have faith that with God all things are possible. He is in control and He knows best. It is possible for me to get over my jealousy and anger. It is possible for me to be a mother of 4. I just have to give it to Him. Some things are too big to handle on your own and He is there, ALWAYS! I should not question, I should not doubt, but I do because I am human and not perfect. I am thankful for forgiveness and love that I do not deserve.

I don't know why that makes me feel better to type all that out and get it out of my head! The Bright Beginnings at SHCC Open House was great! We have 21 kids officially enrolled for the fall! WOW! What a blessing! I am so proud of this preschool. I am proud of my teachers and of myself for working so hard to get ready! Things are looking so awesome! I can't imagine why anyone would consider any other option for their child! Yes, I am bragging! We offer the whole package as far as education is concerned and I know that the families who have put their faith in us will not be disappointed!

Okay, family update... Ryleigh cut 10 inches of her hair and donated it to Locks of Love. She looks so incredibly cute with short hair! She has a whole new (and improved) attitude that came along with her new hairdo! Maybe because we don't have to brush out tangles twice a day! I am so proud of her! She is growing up so fast!

Reagan got her hair cut, too. She looks so much older! She is loving being independent these days, with everything! I try to give her plenty of freedom in things that don't matter to keep her smiling! Gotta love kids with a mind of their own!

We had terrible weather yesterday. Ryleigh's school had damage at the bus transfer station- a bus was even blown over. Our yard looks like a tornado hit, but they say it was just straight winds during a severe thunderstorm warning. Our trampoline may be a goner- it is folded up like a taco. Our little swing set was turned over and the girls' play house lost its roof. There are even more limbs to clean up now, too. I am so thankful that nobody was hurt and the things that were damaged are no big deal.

That's about it for now!